I love to drive country lanes on warm summer mornings:
The anticipation of meeting another car and not being able to pass without reversing to the nearest gate (I always hope to meet a chivalrous man).
The noise of the long grass tickling the sides of the car.
The odd day-tripping cat who strolls leisurely into the centre of your path.
The fields of grass and crops and poppies.
Having the windows fully down because the car is simply too warm - and it's pre-12pm! The delicious breeze.
The slow thrill of being in the country dripping through your veins.

good evening.

sometimes it's an effort just to live. i don't want you to think me ungrateful: there are times when i know we are lucky to be alive, just not at this moment in time.

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i am so homesick, i thought i would be cured by a weekend at home but now it's monday night and i'm worse than ever before. tonight i cried in the kitchen.

i'm getting nowhere in work and i don't want to be there anymore.

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it's my birthday this week. i want to be better by then. i don't want to feel so unfulfilled.

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so here i am and i've brought five good things from the last month here to remind myself i'm ok:

1. the morning a hot air balloon rose just north of durham city. a beautiful moment in the mist.

2. sparkle.

3. my view, ever changing. the field behind us has been planted with what looks like wheat.

4. the new moon that has risen tonight, and the sunset that preceeded it.

5. red velvet cupcakes. they were lush, and so good to share. thank you for that evening ashley. you are my favourite blonde.

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dear, dear happiness.

hear me now.

i'm heavy, heavy in your arms.

every day I think about how much I loved you.

hello.
my lovely neighbour has started letting me use his internet.
this makes me happy.
but these days, i'm mostly sad to be honest, for reasons beyond my control.
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my sister visited at the weekend. she bought me a kenneth cole candle (i love the bee on the lid.)
i baked a cake for our visitors on saturday night. chocolate devils food cake with raw white chocolate as frosting and fresh baby figs as decoration. possibly the cutest figs i've ever seen.
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i cooked a two course meal for 10 on saturday night. it was my friend's husband's 30th. we all went out on friday night but on saturday evening i cooked them:
ricotta, sweet potato and sage pasta shells with chicken for main course and
mango and berry meringue roulade for dessert (like a swiss roll only made with meringue)
i was too stressed to remember to take photos! your imagination will make it better than it would've ever looked anyway. at least i got a photo of the cake the next morning!
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i've missed being here.
now that my evening's are a little emptier i will hopefully be back more often.
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maisiehandspun fans must be a little disgruntled, but please don't give up on me.
my job is just a little too full time for fiber right now.
i'm working on changing that.
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can i leave a little verse from one of mary oliver's poems with you?
"when it's over, I want to say: all my life
I was a bride married to amazement.
I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms."

and another:
"Also I wanted
to be able to love. And we all know
how that one goes,
don't we?
-
Slowly"

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i will be back soon and hopefully everything will be better.
pinky promise x

i have been doing a little bit of daydreaming today.

i've sold a lot of fiber at maisiehandspun.etsy.com recently and i've been too busy to replace it. today, in the middle of my work, i was suddenly overcome by a memory of photographing sun-warmed fiber batts out in my mum's garden in the height of the summer. there is no reason why i suddenly should have thought of it, since nothing in this environment would remind me of it - it is north-sea-cold (it rose to + degrees for the first time in a month on friday), enough to give you brain freeze, and sterile of all creativity. it is no wonder i often feel so numb at the end of the day.

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i want to share some etsy finds with you today...

top: a beautiful dress from bridalblissdesigns that i recently found and seriously lust after

middle: cute silver serving spoons from sadieolive

bottom: lavender bags from lapomme

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i want to get married just to wear that dress! it helps that the bride was gorgeous too i guess :)

i have had a lifelong love affair with silver and now that i've settled in my apartment i've brought some silver over from ireland that i inherited. not for show, but for everyday. some things in life should be enjoyed regardless of the risk!

i got over the culture shock of my move to england and have found some beautiful things and people to root me here. after the heartbreak of 2009 i made a stoic self-promise/resolution to look after myself this year. i guess it's when you don't want to fall at all that you fall the hardest. what i'm trying to say is that i've found someone to love again. i'm wondering how it happened? i guess some of the best things in life are surprises. complete out-of-the-blue surprises. i love them.

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take care of your lovely selves.

warm fuzzies, lorna xo

i'm having some lovely evenings this week. now that the chaos of assembling furniture is over, and therefore the late nights, i am slipping into a nice routine. all i'll say is good food costs money, and sainsburys are making a healthy profit now that i've moved to west rainton. on tuesday night they spoiled me with some fresh clementines with leaves - the last time i saw them was cyprus, 10+ years ago. i cooked some soba noodles last night, if you like you could get the recipe here. i'm looking forward to the leftovers tonight.

back with more adventures soon.

love X